Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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