I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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