Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
