Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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