you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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