While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
