i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
