question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
