If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I touched a dick in church today
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize