i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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