tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Someone shit on the floor
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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