listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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