I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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