I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
