just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
