you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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