I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
