the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
