my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
