why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
