think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need a beard to bite.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
