She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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