You're completely useless in the revolution.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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