im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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