she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
