The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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