There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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