I love black thongs
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
