I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
