There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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