just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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