Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
