ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize