We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
