How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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