shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
