she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
