His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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