champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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