New low: just hacked my moms facebook
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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