is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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