I think I died a long time ago.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
