i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
