so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
