I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There are leaves in my underwear?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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