I'm gonna have a badass scar
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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