he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
