sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
