Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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