god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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