Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
