yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
