Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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