We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
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he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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