He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
