After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
