Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
