K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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