New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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